How Different Personalities Work and How You Can Achieve Better Understanding With Your Partner?
Each individual in the world has their own unique style of thinking, communicating and acting. They differ from each other in their communication styles, the way they perceive, think and feel - they have unique personalities. In the real word, these personalities interact with each other. With differences between 2 personalities, friction is bound to happen. It therefore becomes very important to understand how the other person is thinking and perceiving things. Knowing the personality type of an individual can help a great deal in understanding them. This becomes even more important when two people are in a relationship.
Understanding the various personality types is key to improving your relationships with your partner. We usually do it using the Myers-Briggs® Personality Type Indicator.
The Myers-Briggs® Personality Type Indicator or MBTI® is a renowned assessment designed to identify the personality type, preferences and strengths of an individual. Inspired by Carl Jung's theory of personality types, the mother daughter duo of Katherine Briggs and Isabel Myers had developed this questionnaire. At present, the Myers-Briggs® Personality Type Indicator is one of the most popular psychological instruments globally.
But, before that we would like to explain some of the basic terms used in this inventory.
The MBTI® instrument defines four pairs of opposite personality traits called dichotomies: These MBTI® dichotomies are:
- Extraversion (E) or Introversion (I)
- Sensing (S) or Intuition (N)
- Thinking (T) or Feeling (F)
- Judging (J) or Perceiving (P)
- Extraversion (E) or Introversion (I)
It’s the orientation where we focus our attention and get energy from. For example, extroverts get their energy from the outer world and interaction with people, while introverts get it from self-reflection.
- Sensing (S) or Intuition (N)
These categories are defined according to the way we take in information and the kind of information we like and trust. Sensing types are those who focus on verifiable facts, present realities, and their sensory experiences. On the other hand, Intuition types see the hidden element in everything, e.g. insights, future possibilities, and the big picture.
- Thinking (T) or Feeling (F)
Thinking people make their decisions based on unbiased, impersonal, and objective logic, whereas Feeling types of people make their decisions based on emotions, empathy, personal priorities and relationships.
- Judging (J) or Perceiving (P)
Judging types want that the external world should be organized properly and should appear in order. The Perceiving types seek to experience the outer world as it is. They don’t want to organize it.
Based on the 16 Myers-Briggs personality types, here is how each personality behaves in a relationship:
They like compromising and accommodating, while also having creative solutions to interpersonal problems. They are gentle communicators with an eager ear to listen and explore ideas. They value someone, who is committed yet lets them be independent to explore life. Set your priorities straight, follow a to-do-list and occasionally reward yourself. If you have an INFP partner, give him some space and assist him emotionally when he feels overwhelmed.
They encourage their partner’s dreams, aspirations and achievements and are generally interested in human development. Their way of solving problems is to look into the emotional aspect of the matter. They are at their best when able to share their deepest thoughts and feelings with their partners. If you have an INFJ partner, handle them with care and listen to them. They can be a big asset for you.
They are always cheering for their partner to develop themselves and explore their potential. However, they can be highly emotional and critical of themselves when their feelings are hurt. Their way of communication is warmth and compassion with regards to their ideas and people overall. If you have an ENFJ partner, make sure that your “realistic” and “logical” approach doesn’t hurt them.
Trust them to always express themselves to their partners and want the same from them. They do not like conflicts and would rather connect by being flexible and supportive. They are optimistic in nature and like to discuss the future and their vision. Make sure your “sensible” and “data-based” approach doesn’t override the precious emotions of your ENFP partner.
They are not the most romantic partners but that does not mean they do not value their relationship. They choose a mate based on their list of requirements. Devoted partners, they are not the ones to show emotions openly and hence can be difficult to read. For them, discussing emotions is a messy and disorganized process. If you have an INTJ partner, don’t stress them with unnecessary details. They love the big picture and perform at their best when they are not stressed.
They view every objective with logic and can be unemotional. They have high expectations from themselves and their partners, and have a strong desire to be a problem solver that makes them bad listeners. They are rather ambitious and can be detached. If you have an ENTJ partner, don’t upset them by beating around the bush. Respect their vision and will to achieve bigger targets.
They like exploring life together with their partners, wanting to know how their minds work. They creatively come up with solutions to interpersonal problems. For an ENTP, a mate that appreciates their ingenuity, competence, and perceptiveness, and supports them in their ever-changing interests, schemes, and social pursuits is an ideal.
They are not a fan of traditional ways of life and would rather design a lifestyle which is more apt for the partners involved. They enjoy an intelligent partner who can match their critical thinking. They need a lot of space to delve into their own thoughts, ideas and interests. If you have an INTP partner, give them their space and don’t upset them by sounding idiotic.
They are the ideal partners who like to live up to the traditional standards of a relationship by wanting to be the good wife or the good husband. They have their own moral code and like a partner who also agrees with their idea of right and wrong. They feel appreciated when their partner notices their efforts to provide for the family and commends them. If you have an ESFJ partner, don’t hurt their ego by criticizing them. Appreciate their good efforts and expect excellent response from them.
They would rather continue to live their active lives rather than talking about something serious. They like to go where the wind blows and may often neglect responsibilities. They enjoy being with someone who supports their pursuit of fun, spontaneity and unstructured life. If you have an ESFP partner, you will have to shoulder a lot of responsibility and avoid direct criticism.
They like to stick to the customary gender roles, be it male or female. They take on household chores accordingly and are rather generous and dutiful. They like their partner to recognize their dedication and nurturing abilities. If you have an ISFJ partner, respect them for who they are and don’t forget to compliment their dedication and hard work.
They are always eager to help their partners and can perceive their needs. They like being cooperative and accommodating. However, they may feel they are being taken advantage of if their needs are not attended to by their partners. They like it when their partner shows affection and appreciation to their kind and helpful nature. If you have an ISFP partner, cherish them, treat them with love and care and take care of their needs.
They like routine, family traditions, stability and security. They however can be domineering and be dictative of procedures, schedules and the likes. They like being in control and are not very open to communication. They like a partner who appreciates their responsible self and notices their contributions to the relationship. If you have an ESTJ partner, be very careful especially if you're endorsing an innovative idea or doing something offbeat.
They are mostly full of life and are hedonistic, with not much patience for serious discussions. They are alien to emotional exploration and like to keep things fun and light, while being reasonable problem solvers. ESTPs like a partner who can appreciate their practicality and freedom. If you have an ESTP partner, don’t expect them to join you in a serious discussion. However, their company can be an asset during a calamity or tough phase in life as they will try to keep everyone happy, positive and relaxed.
They value tradition the most and have utter respect for it, so much so as to follow the typical role of males being providers and females being the nurturer in the relationship. Once they make a decision, they can be very stubborn. They appreciate a partner who can recognize and cherish their contributions to the relationship. If you have an ISTJ partner, respect them for their stance as they try to keep the traditions alive. However, you need to be quite tactical to persuade them to change their decision.
They are fun-loving partners who are always on the edge for enjoyment. They even encourage their partners to learn new physical skills. Their problem solving skills are mostly logical as complex personal troubles leave them perplexed. They are not into romantic gestures and show love and affection by being a practical support. If you have an ISTP partner, be ready to have fun and explore the adventurous side of life. However, don’t expect them to behave like Romeo or Juliet, as they will rather prefer to pat your back to show their love.
It is therefore important to understand our own personality type and that of other people to understand them and their preferences. This is true for both the workplace and the home-front.
At VedArdha, we assess a couple’s personality types, preferences, similarities and differences based on MBTI® reports and help build stronger and better relationships.
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