How To Survive Working From Home With Your Spouse Based On Your Personality Type?

The current pandemic has upended our normal work and home routine. In this new normal, many folks across the globe are working from home and sharing their home office with a new coworker - their partner or spouse. 

Working from home with your significant other might be amusing for a few days. The benefits seem aplenty - no more rushing in the morning or skipping breakfast, no more commutes, flexible schedule, etc. But the novelty of it quickly wears off. 

When pyjamas replace smart formals, when zoom call meetings over bad Wi-Fi connections replace conference room meetings, when screaming kids replace brainstorming sessions, work from home can really be a drag and can also hinder your productivity. The challenges of remote working are not just limited to entertaining family, managing household chores, dealing with interruptions and technical issues. Even small differences tend to become magnified with couples staying together 24/7 in condensed spaces. 

One cannot ignore the fact that the success of striking a balance between work and home largely depends on an individual’s personality. This is where an MBTI® assessment can come into play. The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI®) assessment is a globally renowned introspective tool that helps in analysing varying personalities based on how people perceive the world and make decisions. 

During this transitional phase of adapting to work from home with your partner/spouse, different personalities will go through different experiences. When couples possess polar opposite traits, it’s all about creating a balance to keep the relationship healthy and going. And now with the pressures of remote working added into the mix, maintaining this balance seems to be an even tougher feat.

Hence, a detailed analysis through MBTI® assessment can help understand and quell conflicts arising between two individuals with contrasting personalities. 

The possible conflicts between couples can arise in the following four major dimensions of personality:

1. Extraversion (E) v/s Introversion (I) 

The first pair of psychological preferences depend on the direction of energy. Stereo-typically, extraversion is associated with being loud or chatty whereas introversion is associated with shyness or reclusiveness. But there is more to this than meets the eye. 

Extroverts enjoy engaging with the external world. They are outgoing, enthusiastic and action-oriented. On the other side of the coin, Introverts are more involved in self-reflection and feel more comfortable in solitary pursuits. As extroverts derive their energy from the people around them and introverts thrive in quiet and calm environments, the former may seem like a fish out of water while the latter may feel right at home given the current scenario. 

In such cases, the key is to communicate your feelings with honesty. Decide on a time post-work to talk about non-work things. This gives extroverts in the relationship an outlet to talk about their feelings and be heard patiently while providing the much needed time and space for introverts in the relationship to not feel overwhelmed and process sensitive discussions. 

A great way to de-stress post a hectic day of remote working can be doing the things that both can enjoy. For instance, turn on the music and rock out to some tunes or simply waltz your worries away. In order to go through this ordeal and come out victorious with an even stronger bond on the other side, the couple needs to celebrate their differences rather than trying to change them.

2. Sensing (S) v/s Intuition (N) 

The second pair of psychological preferences depend on the mode of perception. How people take in the information around them makes them either a Sensor or an Intuitive. 

Sensors are grounded, practical, more focused on the present and sticklers for detail. In contrast to that, Intuitives are visionaries, innovative and abstract in their thinking, more focused on the future and always with a big picture in mind.

Sensors and Intuitives may have personality traits belonging to opposite sides of the spectrum, but they can complement each other beautifully if they find the middle ground. 

As sensors love to follow a routine which Intuitives may find boring and difficult to stick to, a middle ground could be sharing the load of chores equally with a little bit of downtime thrown in by reading books or watching movies that appeal to both. 

3. Thinking (T) v/s  Feeling (F) 

The third pair of psychological preferences depend on the mode of judgement. How people prefer to make decisions determines whether they are Thinkers or Feelers. Thinkers count on facts, have a logical or strategic approach towards things, are devoted to their work and may seem emotionally detached. On the other hand, Feelers are warm, caring, making decisions based on their belief and values and more attuned to emotional nuances.

The difference of opinions should not give way to a power struggle between Thinkers and Feelers. To find a happy medium, engage in interesting conversations after a hectic day of work to unwind. Thinkers should provide emotional assurance to Feelers when they feel affected with situations pertaining to work-life balance. Feelers should validate and appreciate their partners’ systematic and dedicated outlook and provide them with constructive criticism where need be. 

4. Judging (J) v/s Perceiving (P)

Lastly, the fourth pair of psychological preferences depends on lifestyles. How people prefer to organise their lives determines whether they are Judgers or Perceivers. Judgers are decisive, structured, meticulous at making plans and quick at completing tasks. Perceivers are complete opposites as they are spontaneous, care-free, disorganised and procrastinators. 

When two opposing forces meet, conflicts are bound to arise. But by dissecting and being understanding of each other's differences, Judgers and Perceivers can achieve harmony in their relationship. 

When it comes to creating a work-life balance, both can look at finishing their work and household chores in a systematic manner but add a little bit of spontaneity by tweaking or swapping their daily routine. Surprise each other by giving random gifts, experiment by cooking a different cuisine or add a fun workout routine that both can enjoy.

When two people with different personality types come together, the journey of their relationship can be challenging. But when they are able to work through those differences and deepen their understanding of one another, the relationship can be very fruitful, enriching and rewarding. 

At VedArdha, we work towards creating a deeper understanding and in turn a deeper bond between couples by making them aware of their strengths and resolve conflict in an efficient way using comprehensive MBTI® assessments. The proactive approach used by VedArdha’s certified and experienced practitioners in MBTI®, helps couples nurture better relationships.